This post summarizes the second half of The One Sentence Persuasion Course.
It reorganizes the one-sentence persuasion I covered last time into two words. I’d read that one first.
Half of this is the book, half is my own opinion.
The One Sentence Persuasion Course cover
Last time we went through the one sentence of persuasion and its five principles.
This time, the same thing in two words.
The two words are “validate” and “fascinate”.
1. Validate
When we try to persuade someone, our instinct is to correct their thinking. It only backfires. Turn it around. How would you feel if someone told you, “You’re wrong, listen to me”? Resistance comes first. You don’t get persuaded.
So validating beats correcting. Everyone wants to be seen as a good person. Everyone wants to hear they weren’t wrong. Validate first and their ears open.
You can validate their feelings too, the wants and the fears. People open up to whoever validates them. Research says being validated and praised raises your concentration.
Once you’ve validated them, you have to fascinate them.
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2. Fascinate
Bored people stop listening. Entertained people stop criticizing. Fascinated people don’t criticize or doubt. They take what you say instead of picking at every line. Concentrate on anything deeply enough, long enough, and you’re fascinated. Fascinated means persuaded.
So how do you fascinate someone? Get them imagining the dream coming true. A picture that’s sensory and emotional beats a rational forecast built on numbers. A stack of bills and a red Porsche is more vivid than the phrase “a lot of money.” It’s the same reason I keep going on about the power of a story. Imagining makes you concentrate. Concentrating pulls you in. Once you’re pulled in, you can’t criticize.
Look at any ad. The product isn’t what comes first. You get an attractive woman, a Ferrari and a watch, someone who looks happy. The ad is built to make you picture yourself happy. Instead of persuading you with features or price, it fascinates you with a happy picture. Make people imagine and you can fascinate them. A vivid picture grows the want. A strong want gets persuaded.
A vivid picture grows the want.
To sum up, the author explains persuasion from two angles.
The first angle is the method: encourage the want, offer the solution, settle the doubt and the fear.
The second angle sums all of that up as “validate,” then adds “fascinate,” which sinks them into a hopeful picture.
If it were me, I’d summarize the book like this.
Encourage the want, spark the picture of success,
settle the fear, then hand over the solution.
Do this out loud and it’s negotiation. Do it on paper and it’s writing. Same principle.
P.S. Next time I’ll cover Nonviolent Communication. It connects to today’s book, so I’ve been wanting to write about it.
Resolving conflict with nonviolent communication - Nonviolent Communication (NVC) - 1
Reference links: the book, the expanded edition
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