Do you think people can change?
You’ve probably believed someone would change and been let down, and been surprised by someone you’d written off.
So then, do you think you can change?
Do talent and circumstances set a person’s limit, or does that limit move with the situation?
Psychology calls the belief that people can change a ‘growth mindset’,
and the belief that they can’t a ‘fixed mindset’.
Growth mindset (Designed by Freepik)
Research says people with a fixed mindset give up easily when a challenge gets hard.
When they fail at something difficult, they read it as a shortage of talent.
So in a demanding place full of hard challenges, they end up not growing at all.
People with a growth mindset, on the other hand, don’t quit when a hard challenge beats them.
They believe people change, so they figure they’ll grow and take another run at it.
Failure isn’t a reason to stop for them. It’s a chance to learn and come back stronger.
Fierce competition and bad odds turn into material for growth.
Anyone who has struggled with something hard would want a growth mindset and the toughness that comes with it.
But people tend to lose the growth mindset the moment they feel afraid.
When you’re scared of botching a job or failing a test, there’s some instinct in all of us to blame the situation.
Fear sends us back to the fixed mindset, pinning the problem on outside factors like talent or environment.
So growing a growth mindset means not letting fear move you. There’s one question for that.
What can I get out of this situation?
This question has two upsides.
One, it quiets the fear.
Gain and curiosity are emotions as strong as fear. Every business, every investment, every adventure happens when gain and curiosity beat fear.
So if you get curious about what you stand to gain, you can look past the fear.
Two, it finds you a chance to improve or a way to change the situation.
It pulls up at least one condition working in your favor instead of the ones working against you.
However hard the situation is, no option is worse than quitting.
Everyone has something that won’t go their way.
Instead of blaming the situation or sinking into it or getting angry, ask yourself this.
What can I get out of this situation?
P.S. When things don’t go the way I planned, the urge to blame my circumstances and my talent rises right up to my throat.
But that leaves me with nothing.
So I always ask myself: “What can I get out of this situation?”
I ask it sometimes while writing this newsletter too.
Book referenced: Mindset